Inspired by postsecret.com and the "dirty little secret" video by All American Rejects, I've decided to tell you all my own dirty little secret that I've never told ANYONE before.

Ever since I've been little, I've sporadically dipped in and out of an imaginary world in my mind. This fantasy world goes beyond normal daydreaming - the people and the world that I've created in my mind are incredibly complex and realistic and I often set aside about an hour just before I go to sleep to revisit and indulge in this world. I thought I was the only person with these fantasies until today.

I guess it started as a case of simply having imaginary friends. Although I could never see them nor would they talk to me, I would present to them and teach them things that I had learnt at school or on tv. As I grew up, I started imagining myself as a character in a certain television programme. After watching an episode, I would rewrite the script in my mind to include myself. This later developped and I would imagine that I had my own "spin off" show where I was the main character saving the world from demons and monsters. I would fabricate incredibly complex and often very clever storylines and episodes and the characters in these stories would be mainly made up of people I know apart from one off celebritiy appearances.

Later my fantasy life split into two. While I was imagining myself in this television programme, I would also imagine myself as the actor who was playing myself in the television programme. In my head, the show was incredibly successful and I often imagined myself doing interviews for the show and appearing on other shows as guest star. My imaginary celebrity persona is not only an actor, but he also writes the show as well as directs it. Not only that but he is also a part time high fashion model who also has a clothing line. I used to only think about this world when I was getting ready for bed but later, music would sometimes trigger off this fantasy world and I would create music sequences and videos for the "show" in my mind.

I always knew that this wasn't normal and I often tried to analyse why I was doing it. Maybe i couldn't deal with reality, maybe my life was so dull and tragic that i needed this imaginary world to help me cope. I know for a fact that it was the imaginary world and my imaginary friends in my imaginary television series that helped me deal with my father's adultery and the death of my mother. I controlled the characters in my mind and therefore I got the consolation that I desperately wanted and needed that my real friends just never gave me. These events became "episodes" in my mind and because they became a part of my fantasy, i suppose they weren't "real" anymore and I found it much easier to deal with it.

Even though I have developped this fantasy life for so long, it has never occured to me to see if other people might have the same problem - that is, until today. I googled the words "fantasy life mental disorder" and discovered many people with the same problem. Apparently about 4% of the population have it. In fact there's a name for it - Walter Mitty syndrome.

Nowadays i don't really dip into this fantasy life anymore apart from when I'm incredibly bored or something bad has happened. I don't feel like I need it anymore because I'm rather happy with my current real life. Recently, the imaginary episodes in my head are less dark and much, much shorter. They used to be whole episodes, now they are mere snippets. I know it's wrong but I still can't help but indulge in it sometimes. Maybe there'll come a time when I feel I don't need this secret life anymore. Then again, maybe it'll be a part of me until the day I die.

Wow, that was liberating! Ok, so I've told you mine, now it's your turn! What's your secret?